pensiveness

THE COSMOS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW

July 4, 2019

Date : Unknown.

Age: Unknown, but perhaps about late 15.

That page from an old notebook lay innocently inviting. Traces of a thought that had once raged and flared had left behind these ashes for scrutiny later on. Today, as I read it, memory unfurls itself, playing out the ghosts of the past – a powerful moment, forgotten now for its importance then was unknown. But here, today, I behold words from long ago when this mysterious journey within had begun. The old excitement flashes out palpably off the paper. The abstract seedling of the thoughts that have now grown into a garden, occupying all of my mind and making me who I am. This page from the old notebook – the past and the present collide against one another and a tumultuous force escapes my heart.

So here I start. With a fear, with a fascination. Ashes left from an initial ignition…

.

The world around is so immensely huge that often, I am convinced that I live in a transparent and mobile cocoon; a speck in the massive multiverse. And there is so much… so much unknown, so much unthought of, so much untouched even by the powers of imagination.

This is a creation that can never be conquered, never mastered; only dreamed of, amazed at and wondered about. Magical things, strange events and ununderstandable phenomena are moving about us – invisible – every moment.

Then how must I sleep in the nights, knowing that I walk in the shadows- knowing that there’s much I don’t even know that I don’t know. Isn’t this an exciting agony? A quest for a thirst that can never fully be quenched.

The only direction I see as I grop is in the heart of the labyrinthine mindscape. The more complex and multitudinous its winding corridors are, the deeper the door at its heart takes me.

So I clasp my Ariadne’s string and wander in, unweaving strands from mysterious tapestries hung on every corridor of the mind and twisting them together to lengthen my string each time as I inch in deeper and deeper into the unexplored mines of reflection. Stringing together thoughts and knowledge, I discover new alleys, run into unseen nooks.

But even yet, I am just another slave to time, for one lifetime is never enough to know it all. Till my last breathe I would run and leap over the wilderness of learning and still I would hold only a handful of sand.

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